Friday Funnies

[findtim]

just got an email from a client,... 10PM , i have just built him a website, 4 weeks of @ 80+ email instructions from him, 27 page website, 99% finished and here is his next question.

" can you NOW, resize the website so it fits into my MS word file so i can print it "

WTF

tim

 

[johno69]

Tell him about the print screen button.

 

[findtim]

Tell him about the print screen button.

i am now implementing a "print page" plugin so we remove all the colour branding which wastes ink.

his business/clients should not need this function THUS i didn't allow for it.

tim

 

[Data Glasses]

Text Pill

i've decided to invent the 'beer pill' so all my friends know i am enjoying an ale !

 

[petermeadit]

Who? the Doctor!

Ahhh, it's not even Friday, but it does help to have a laugh.

Client: “You’re sending me too many emails! I’m getting two every morning!”

Me: “Alright, looking at our system, I can see two accounts to your name. The reason you were able to register again is because your address doesn’t quite match between both accounts.”

Client: “Well how’s that possible? I haven’t moved anywhere!”

Me: “Well, on one account you put your address down as THE TARDIS.”



I read this on notalwaysright.com

 

[findtim]

my 5 year old came home from kinder an hour ago, and they had a "grand final" day, he got a baseball cap, one of those little soft footballs that are the size of your hand and some face painting.

on the footy it says "giants" for GWS and its orange, so he asks me " if thats giants ? why is the ball so small? "

tim

 

[petermeadit]

Brute force funnies

He he this one made me laugh. While blocking brute force IP addresses I came across it. lol

Oh yeah, I am hacking from where ? ... "dum de dum.."

 

[findtim]

outsourcing

here is the post
https://www.dntrade.com.au/web-development/8345-outsourcing-2-1-1-1-a.html#post59959

it reminds me of a different story !

a ship finally got to Singapore with a broken engine part, it was some "burnt out" part? they took it to someone to create a replacement and thought they should get 2 done just for the future.
the guy said " we need 2 of these"
1 week later they got "2 of these" EXACTLY burnt out as the one they delivered.

tim

 

[findtim]

I was wondering if anyone knew some good circumcision jokes ?

tim

 

[James]

Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20 percent off!










* I mean no disrespect to Jewish members.

 

[findtim]

I was wondering if anyone knew some good circumcision jokes ?

tim

ummm, james, that was the joke

https://www.dntrade.com.au/dropping-domains/8493-circumcision-com-au.html

 

[James]

ummm, james, that was the joke

https://www.dntrade.com.au/dropping-domains/8493-circumcision-com-au.html

Lol missed that thread...

 

[Data Glasses]

Lol missed that thread...

where ya been ?

 

[James]

where ya been ?

Working like crazy last few days...

 

[findtim]

a little late or a little early?

just got off the phone to a client, her email newsletter system which she changed something isn't working now, apparently that is now my problem?

quote" I have to get my newsletter out tomorrow, so can u fix it"

Q: " umm i'll need you to give me more info and give me the login details"

quote " I don't have time, I have to go to my yoga class, I send them when I get back @ 8pm"

----------

right so she stuffs up and now I am the 24/7 web B*#^T ? ,

I'm thinking maybe MY yoga class starts at 8.01pm !

tim

 

[findtim]

well I'm actually early this tim !

wotif dca

http://screencast.com/t/f2USakHKbII

normal price $89, but buy it now for $100.

hmmmmmmmmm, I think I know another system that works like that

tim

 

[Data Glasses]

No time for a friday funny this week, i'm too busy smoking bongs with Nigella, damn she makes great munchies !

 

[Data Glasses]

well I'm actually early this tim !

wotif dca

http://screencast.com/t/f2USakHKbII

normal price $89, but buy it now for $100.

hmmmmmmmmm, I think I know another system that works like that

tim

They only put the price up for you

 

[findtim]

They only put the price up for you

still sounds like another business we know
tim

 

[findtim]

we are cleaning out the garage, max and ruby decide to have a mock garage sale and max puts his skywalker toy out for sale for $15 !

so I say " 15, no thanks" he says " ok $2 " I say naaa" , he comes back with "$1 " I say naaa , he says " free"

so I take it off him.

MAN do I have some work to do there

tim

PS: he's just walked in and asked " where is Anakin" ?

sellers remorse ! ahhhh but he's a newbie