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findtim

Top Contributor
now this thread is done with intros i'll tell ya a story, superfish just so you know i always warn people of this so they can switch off ! LOL
------------story--------longgggggg story -----
YES, it al begins in a pub in london , westham territory actually which i found quite funny as it was east of london !!!

anyway, i got sent there to look after this pub for 2 weeks as the governor had other things to do but was still there in house.

so first day , the pub is street level, you walk into a long bar, the funny thing was there was an entry and an exit, meaning on the left you pushed the doors in and on the right you pushed the doors out.

so i open the doors and first person in is an OLD guy, he goes to the left side of the bar and sits in a chair, apparently its HIS CHAIR ! and asks for " i'll hav half" so i give it to him and say " thats 1 pound 50 and he looks at me and says " nah " so i look to the barman and he says the first drink is free, i later find out this is common in english pubs as THAT beer has been sitting in the pipes ALL NIGHT LONG !!!!!

next customer is a dog, yep a dog ! LOL, the dog knows how to open the doors by getting up on hind legs and pushing ! then walking in, going into the bar area and sitting infront of the sink tap, the dog looks at me as if to say
" WELL, turn the tap on dickH**D "
once again the barmand says YEP
the dof then walks out of the bar and out the doors that open outwards and thus thats that !
the old guy says " thats trevor "
just recapping , this is a westham PUB.
so its friday, its the semi finals of soccer , tomorrow spurs play westham in a knock out ( now we are back to the story LOL )
so the pub is FULLLLLLLLL and every one is drinking heaps when 3 guys come into the bar dressed in spurs colours, so i serve them a pint each and say, mate, maybe you shouldn't be here !

so the pub is now quite with everyone looking at these guys when one of them starts signing " totenhammmmmmmm totenhammmmmmmmm bla bla" to which the guy at the bar next to them smashes his pint glass and holds it to the guys neck as they run out the bar, the bar returns to normal but everyone gets drunker.

30mins later the 3 guys come into the bar again and now 20+ pint glasses get smashed against the bar and the guys turn and run but this time @ 80 westham fans exit the pub and chase them down the street.
now i have an EMPTY pub.
15 mins later everyone slowly return, 30 mins after that the police arrive and want to talk to ME !
so, i'm the aussie, the new governor, in the wild west(east) and the cops are asking me questions about what happened.
so EVERYONE is listening, so i say, "well these guys came in and sang spurs songs so i asked them to leave, so they left " cops go " ohh ok, then what" so i say " well they left but later they came back and were really rude" so the cops ask what happened then?

NOW........... the whole pub is hanging on my answer..........
so i say " well mate i just told them i wasn't going to serve them and they left "
the cops say " really, because they claim a whole gang chased them down the street with broken glass and we now have 1 guy in hospital with his throat almost cut and multiple cuts across his face, the other guy was beaten with a fence picket and we can't find the 3rd guy. SO who left the pub ? "
to which i replied , " sorry officer, but after i told them to leave i had to go upstairs and do the accounts, when i returned i found the same people in the bar when i left"

and the cops left, and never came back, as for me i survived the 2 weeks, the customers were shit scared but i sorted it, seriously it was a bad thing but it was created by those guys and it isn't about spurs , it happens in any english team.

now lets go to australia, after the grand final there would have been PACKED trains going home to the suburbs, adelaide supporters and richmond and songs would have been sung but i doubt anyone was hurt on a train going home. in london after a game they have "away team trains" which are a police escort to the station, and the train DOES NOT STOP until its far enough away from the ground to be able to walk back, no booze is sold at the ground, every pub @ the ground closes ( i use to run a pub near chelsea stadium )

its a different world.

soccer: 90 minutes of a game with a 90% chance of NO SCORE ! no wonder they are frustrated ! at least afl you get scores and a result and if you get a draw its a F'kn bloody exciting one.

soccer isn't karma sutra !!!!! you need a result !

tim
 

DomainNames

Top Contributor
now this thread is done with intros i'll tell ya a story, superfish just so you know i always warn people of this so they can switch off ! LOL
------------story--------longgggggg story -----
YES, it al begins in a pub in london , westham territory actually which i found quite funny as it was east of london !!!

anyway, i got sent there to look after this pub for 2 weeks as the governor had other things to do but was still there in house.

so first day , the pub is street level, you walk into a long bar, the funny thing was there was an entry and an exit, meaning on the left you pushed the doors in and on the right you pushed the doors out.

so i open the doors and first person in is an OLD guy, he goes to the left side of the bar and sits in a chair, apparently its HIS CHAIR ! and asks for " i'll hav half" so i give it to him and say " thats 1 pound 50 and he looks at me and says " nah " so i look to the barman and he says the first drink is free, i later find out this is common in english pubs as THAT beer has been sitting in the pipes ALL NIGHT LONG !!!!!

next customer is a dog, yep a dog ! LOL, the dog knows how to open the doors by getting up on hind legs and pushing ! then walking in, going into the bar area and sitting infront of the sink tap, the dog looks at me as if to say
" WELL, turn the tap on dickH**D "
once again the barmand says YEP
the dof then walks out of the bar and out the doors that open outwards and thus thats that !
the old guy says " thats trevor "
just recapping , this is a westham PUB.
so its friday, its the semi finals of soccer , tomorrow spurs play westham in a knock out ( now we are back to the story LOL )
so the pub is FULLLLLLLLL and every one is drinking heaps when 3 guys come into the bar dressed in spurs colours, so i serve them a pint each and say, mate, maybe you shouldn't be here !

so the pub is now quite with everyone looking at these guys when one of them starts signing " totenhammmmmmmm totenhammmmmmmmm bla bla" to which the guy at the bar next to them smashes his pint glass and holds it to the guys neck as they run out the bar, the bar returns to normal but everyone gets drunker.

30mins later the 3 guys come into the bar again and now 20+ pint glasses get smashed against the bar and the guys turn and run but this time @ 80 westham fans exit the pub and chase them down the street.
now i have an EMPTY pub.
15 mins later everyone slowly return, 30 mins after that the police arrive and want to talk to ME !
so, i'm the aussie, the new governor, in the wild west(east) and the cops are asking me questions about what happened.
so EVERYONE is listening, so i say, "well these guys came in and sang spurs songs so i asked them to leave, so they left " cops go " ohh ok, then what" so i say " well they left but later they came back and were really rude" so the cops ask what happened then?

NOW........... the whole pub is hanging on my answer..........
so i say " well mate i just told them i wasn't going to serve them and they left "
the cops say " really, because they claim a whole gang chased them down the street with broken glass and we now have 1 guy in hospital with his throat almost cut and multiple cuts across his face, the other guy was beaten with a fence picket and we can't find the 3rd guy. SO who left the pub ? "
to which i replied , " sorry officer, but after i told them to leave i had to go upstairs and do the accounts, when i returned i found the same people in the bar when i left"

and the cops left, and never came back, as for me i survived the 2 weeks, the customers were shit scared but i sorted it, seriously it was a bad thing but it was created by those guys and it isn't about spurs , it happens in any english team.

now lets go to australia, after the grand final there would have been PACKED trains going home to the suburbs, adelaide supporters and richmond and songs would have been sung but i doubt anyone was hurt on a train going home. in london after a game they have "away team trains" which are a police escort to the station, and the train DOES NOT STOP until its far enough away from the ground to be able to walk back, no booze is sold at the ground, every pub @ the ground closes ( i use to run a pub near chelsea stadium )

its a different world.

soccer: 90 minutes of a game with a 90% chance of NO SCORE ! no wonder they are frustrated ! at least afl you get scores and a result and if you get a draw its a F'kn bloody exciting one.

soccer isn't karma sutra !!!!! you need a result !

tim
Tim, How is this on topic? :) Maybe send it to a new "Tims Jokes thread" along with your Tim's book thread or someone will stomp their feet and contact admin to censor and delete it for having no relevance to the domain name industry and this newbies valid thread :)
 

findtim

Top Contributor
Tim, How is this on topic?
ya know, its the first thing i thought of before typing, so i will concede, i figured once the intro got to "hot spurs" the intro thread was done.
i think the etiquette is that the thread starter gets to decide? or am i wrong?
so superfish please tell me if i upset your intro thread.

tim
 
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