Friday Funnies 2016

well i've been slack, tried to have a holiday !!!

first funny:

i rang my bank today and got an australian in melbourne on the phone, who helped me and then also put me through to another person some more info and !!!!!!!!!! i got another australian !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tim

 

Was it the Bank of Melbourne?

 

It's like the bank of sydney ..........but it's in Melbourne LOL

 

Here's a photo I took recently, their slogan is "Keep it Simple" their URL is: one0one0one.com
Yeah, that's simple..
Keep in mind they are an IT group..

 

wheres the best place to hide a dead body?





page 2 google

 

Or Bing ......

 

ahhh, you win

 

There are no winners ...........when you come second or beyond

 

not so friday, not so funny.
i did some chainsawing a few trees this arvo and fill the chainsaw up, split some and went on my merry way, tonight i lit the bbq to cook and the flame JUMPED across4-5 feet to the petrol container ( thankfully only 500mls, for mixing 2stroke,) and the place was alight !!!!!! the kids were playing in the back yard and paniced, ruby ran to towards me to help but i said stay away, max just ran away.
i've had a lot expereince with fire, i've been in 2 + working in pubs restuarants and fire training monthly EVER month with woolies, they DRUM it into you and i know " don't use water" as it will just spread, BUT, when the nearly full petrol container explodes 2 seconds later and your neighbours fence is now on fire which is @ 4 feet from his house.......... i ran for the hose.
hose following i used the water to knock the container to the ground which seemed like a good idea but it feel next to oa bbq 9ltr gas bottle and the bbq where it all started was alight with its gas cylinder !!!!!!!!!!
8yr old max is now standing watching from the furtherest point in the back yard he can get to and i suspect looking for the exit over the fence, 9yr ruby is close by making sure i am ok, FUNNILY exactly what roles i knew each would play !.
so i have the hose, a container on the ground spilling pretrol and 1 bbq + a fence on fire.
so i first go move the gas bottle, its attached so i just moved it as far away as i could, next turned my gas off ( should have done that first ) and the sprayed the fence with water from the top down which worked by now i have a river of flame heading down the slop in front of the 20 ft high hedge on the house border, so i just went.......F it, stick with water and heaps of it to dilute the petrol ans it worked, fence was fine, bbq fine, kids heading inside and no dinner.

WHY is there always someone with a video for youtube but not for me????
in hindsight it was quite funny amd mot sure but i tthink it all happened in less then a minute, from fire to fire-out, but i just kept soaking the ground all around to make sure i didn't get a pop up of flame again.

thank god it was only @ 400mls of fuel, imagine 5ltrs !
if it was 5 ltrs and 2 gas bottles i would have just grabbed the kids and jumped the fence.
good from bad: afterwards i sat the kids diwn and said "ok that was carey for you?" and they said yes, so i told them i may have looked scared because i was yelling "go away" but at your age if somethings on fire " go away........."
and asked" now, remember, we can replace bbq's and fence but we can't replace???????? "
and they both replied " rubies and max's " , GOOD stuff.

tim

 

We might need a 3rd candidate.

 

Don't forget to see Tim's "how to light a pizza oven" video ......... better than onions

 

here's a wonderful website from 2004
https://web.archive.org/web/20040805110725/http://www.toorakroad.com.au/
"Experience the WebStop difference!!!!"

tim

 

we have a non racist non religious house, meaning black, white, muslim, catholic is all equal and talked about so this didn't come from us !
------
Max is home with his foot in a cast so hes playing on the ipad, he says to helena " can you download this game" helena says " hmmm, i don't know, it looks bad, it looks like GTA ( grand theft auto)" max replies " ohh no, its not, these guys are white ! "

tim

 

He is only reflecting what he sees on the news I guess (in our town)

 

I spotted Chris (admin) at a carwash near my place yesterday, so I crouched down and waited for him to get within two feet of me ....... then I jumped up and yelled out "dot net" He jumped back in fright and I couldn't help wonder if it was the jumping up or the fact I yelled "dot net" that surprised him the most, how to scare a domainer!

 

I'm just glad you didn't yell "dot net dot au" or who knows what might have happened. Or worse yet "dot au"

 

I didn't have time ..... he had already spotted me .... although I wish I had thought of .au !

 

interesting website, actually great idea but i loveeeeeee their slogan
http://www.poopatrol.com.au/
tim

 

Great branding!