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Friday Funnies 2018

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findtim

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long story short, on the way home in KL i bought a samsung s8 " for a good price" , tested , it worked, used it, phoned with it, all cool.
get home and my ozzie sim doesn't work, so i take it to samsung store just 5 minutes away and ask the guy to check the settings to which he replies " i'd love to..........if it WAS a samsung !!! " LOL i've been had, i suspected as much and purchased knowing i was taking a risk, so RIGHT THEN, the screen starts shaking, and it start duplicating screens and crap as if it KNOWS i am in australia now.

and now the screen has gone haywire again.

i'd love to be someone that goes back and forth to KL so i could go back and make the guy eat the phone LOL but ohh well
caveat emptor, ohh well, other then the over pricing because of my skin colour it was the only thing i truly got ripped of on so i didn't do to bad, just $100, i just had a go at resetting it and it succeeded..........but into russian LOL

tim
 

findtim

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pimplepopping.com.au
i had an enormous amount of pleasure the other day when my daughter (11) got her first pimple , describing in DETAIL what it was like to POP a pimple and that when i did......... i almost fainted ! true story, this mother F******r of a pimple showed up the morning of my brothers girlfriends 21st birthday party right in the middle of my chin between lip and chin, you know that dip we all seem to have, it was like a beacon in a storm, almost pulsing out morse code to everyone ! i was 12 i think, i was also VERYYYYYYYYYYYY freckled, and i mean VERYYYYYYYYYYY, so this thing on my face was like byron bay lighthouse.

it finally got to me and i went to the bathroom determined to pop it, the ol 2 thumb nails should do it but the pressure kept building with nothing happening, then finally it burst..........straight onto the mirror, my knees almost collapsed from the pain of it , i felt dizzy and finally after a while i returned to the party.

thankfully i got through puberty without "pimple scares" ....no doubt thats dropping tomorrow LOL
but i did have @ 100,000 freckles ! ( thankyou byron bay 1973 , no sun screen and irish skin ! )
tim

PS: mentholated spirits is not a cure for broken sun burnt skin ......but that another story :)
 

findtim

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it happens so rarely but easter sunday is on april fools day !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! during the melbourne comedy festival :eek:
my mind is going wild with possibilities

tim
 

snoopy

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Courtesy of Mr Chris Leptos,

It is my great pleasure to advise you that earlier today the auDA Board concluded the formalities to appoint three new Demand Class directors:
......
Damian Smith
A successful digital business leader and entrepreneur.
Damian has applied to become a Demand Class member.

He has even decided to become a demand class member after getting the job of demand class director! Thanks for the Friday funny Chris!

https://auda.org.au/mailouts/auDA+Plain+Announce/Chair's+Letter:+Demand+Class+Director+Appointments
 

findtim

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english standup from years ago.
WARNING: crass, rude, crude, sexist, badddddd language, racist, disgusting, no limits.
you'll know if its for you in the first 10 minutes.
 

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